March 31, 2012

I Am a Sensitive Hacker...

Well hello there, boys and girls!  I've been meaning to ask you:  Do you know someone in infosec who's so super cool that s/he thinks they're better than, well, everybody else?  Do they remind you of the Sensitive Artist type from King Missile's classic hipster-bashing song from the 90s?

If you don't know this gem, please familiarize yourself with it, then follow along and cringe with me, as you knowingly snicker under your breath at the ones you find annoyingly in love with themselves.

We all know someone like this. Maybe they're going through a phase, or maybe they were just born this way. ...And maybe if they get a link to this post sent from a bunch of people, they'll get the hint.

Think of it as a public service...


Gossip Gal


Sensitive Hacker

I am a sensitive hacker

I am a sensitive hacker
I am a sensitive hacker
I am a sensitive hacker

I am a sensitive hacker,
Nobody understands me because I am so l33t
In my work, I make allusions to sploits nobody else has developed, classes of vulnerabilities nobody else has ever heard of and 0days nobody else has seen
I can’t help it, because I am so much more intelligent and hyper-specialized than everyone who surrounds me.

I stopped using Windows when I was six months old, because registry surgery was so boring and stupid, and I started using openBSD, and going to DefCon and CCC.

I don’t go to mainstream cons anymore, because my fanbois are too legion.

And I don’t submit papers to CFPs anymore, because all the reviewers are haters, cuz they’re jealous of my skillz, and I can’t deal with jealous haters, because they don’t understand me.

I stay at home, writing tools that are beneath me, and working on my new framework, which no one understands.

I am sensitive
I am sensitive
I am a sensitive hacker
I am a sensitive hacker...


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